A CHR patient’s decision to become a single mother and her important message to other single women
The following article originally appeared in the Wellington Neighbors Magazine (Wellington is a suburb of Palm Beach, FL) where the author and her son reside. The photograph below was on the cover. In a text message to the CHR, the author noted, “I put heart and soul into the article.” And she, indeed, did! But even more importantly, she in this article is a voice for thousands of single women who face the difficult choice whether to remain childless or make the challenging decision to become – with all the associated difficulties - a single parent. She chose to go for it and was rewarded with a truly amazing young man in the house after all. We know because we had the opportunity to meet him, - and he is already taking well care of his mom.
Olga Dragunsky and her son, Arnold
My name is Olga Dragunsky. I have a 5-year-old son, Arnold. The reason I felt compelled to tell my story of having a child on my own is to encourage other single women to follow their desire of becoming a parent.
Let’s start from the beginning. I was born in Moscow, Russia, and was brought to Chicago with my twin sister by our mother. We were 16 years old and didn’t speak a word of English. The only times we felt comfortable were in math classes since mathematical formulas didn’t require English proficiency. By the end of the year, we were fluent in English. Later, both of us graduated from George Washington University with a degree in International Finance and Marketing and a minor in Business Law.
My first encounter with infertility happened while working at a leading genetics institute in Chicago. To my surprise, I saw countless patients going through In-Vitro Fertilization hoping one day to become parents. Never did I think I would be going through this journey as well. It was my destiny!
I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A MOM.
Like most young women, I dreamed of being swept off my feet by prince charming, getting married first, and then having children. Theoretically, that was the premise for my future, but I was too determined to be successful professionally and lost track of time, not realizing my biological clock was ticking.
One day, it was time to make a decision, and I made it! I decided to have a child on my own by using a sperm donor. It took me a very long and painful seven years to reach my goal. Endless shots and a shattered heart after every negative pregnancy test, but my persistence and my desire to become a mother did not allow me to give up. And finally, my dream came true. Fifty years old, I gave birth to my beautiful boy Arnold Giovanni.
I would be lying if I said being a single mom is super easy. Sleepless nights, worrying when Arnold gets sick, running between my demanding job and his activities, and everything else that comes with the territory of being a mother. But, at the end of the day, to hear Arnold’s laugh, his first spoken word “Mama,” seeing his first accomplishments in reading and writing, later cheering on sidelines of his soccer games, tennis or anything he enjoys, and getting a big squeeze followed by “I love you Mommy,” I realize how lucky and blessed I am.
Arnold and I moved to Wellington last December after I accepted a fantastic opportunity at PAM Health Rehabilitation Hospital in Jupiter. It took us a few months to settle, but we love living here, spending time with neighbors, enjoying pool and holiday parties, and going to the Lion Country Safari and shows at the Kravis Center. We are looking forward to the season of Polo matches and Saturday Night Lights.
I feel very honored to be on the cover of Wellington Neighbors Magazine. I take pride in sharing the experience of my journey to motherhood. My message is rather simple, if you really want to be a mother, go for it!
I have met so many incredible smart and successful women who have told me, “I wish I had enough guts to do what you have done”.
It makes me so sad to hear that. Take motherhood into your own hands. If you are in your twenties/early thirties and still single, freeze your eggs. That way you can take a breather.
Believe in yourself and trust advanced modern medicine! If I could do it, you can do it too! Remember you don’t have to justify yourself. Motherhood comes in different shapes and sizes! Everyone has a different journey in life. There is nothing wrong with having a baby first and then finding your soul mate. Down the road, the last thing you want is to look back and regret not having a child.
Having my son was, without a doubt the best decision I have ever made! My dear known and unknown women, my sisters, I wish all of you luck!
EDITORIAL COMMENT: We could not agree more! And as a special note to our younger female readers listen to the author’s comment about fertility preservation through egg freezing at younger years.